omfg. I seriously feel like crying now but I can't because my maid's in my room for no fucking reason. Farah, I don't blame you for posting that up. All of that's true. But because I went to your blog & read it, the memories of him & me came flowing back but I can't cry because of my maid's friggin' presence in MY room.
Why owh why? For now, I really really want to forget him since it's friggin' trials & I want to giler2 concentrate! (maid just left the room) Just knowing what Farah typed out is making me really sad & depressed. fuck Fuck FUCK!
I have friggin' Agama & Science tomorrow! Getting an A1 for my Science & at least a pass for my Agama is EXTREMELY ESSENTIAL for me at this moment! What did I do? Is this God's way to test me? Well, I. Don't. LIKE IT!! He's ALL the way in Terengganu while little old me is in Subang Jaya, sitting in front of the computer typing out what she has to type out.
One moment... just for ONE moment, I want to forget you. You never called me or texted me like you PROMISED you would once you're there. I even BOTHERED to wish you a Happy Birthday on Myspace. I can't just shout at you for it because we might end up fighting again. I don't want that. It'll hurt. In what way can I tell you I fucking miss you? Someone PLEASE tell me. His friggin' PDA is busted because he was stupid enough to throw it against the wall.
I don't have his brother's number & I barely know his friends.
What can I do to let you know that I fucking miss you? I really miss you like crazy! I wish I could drive myself all the way to where you are JUST to see you & be with you but I can't. I wish you were still here because I don't mind wasting RM58 for YOUR sake.
We've talked, texted, called & hugged, but we've never kissed or hung out with each other. You kissed me on the cheek but we've never even went out on a date! Our relationship sounds a little pathetic at this state. If I wanted to, I would've wanted you to stay & not go to somewhere so far. But I love you & care for you, so I let you because you needed a job & your time as a lifeguard in Sunway Lagoon was up. You've completed the contract.
Now, you're a scuba-diver in Pulau Perhantian, Terengganu while I just sit here & wait patiently for you to come back. I don't care if the whole world's reading this but when you said you wanted to have sex with me the 1st time, I was scared.
Truly I was. But when you asked the same thing the 2nd time, I agreed. I meant it. If you guys find this rather irritating and/or disgusting, stop reading & get out of my blog! Yes, I WANT to have sex with you. I friggin' admit it. I'm doing my best waiting for you. I really love you, sayang. I want to go there so badly but I have to stay & study.
I wish I could just drop out of school but you WANT me to study hard & have really good SPM results. Now that I think of it, not only am I going to do it for me anymore, I'm going to do it for you too. If you disgusted people are still reading, FUCK OFF!! I don't care if I sound silly, pathetic or whatever y'all think!
JUST FUCK OFF DAMN IT!! As for what Farah posted on her blog, all of those things are true. So very true. Go ahead & read it => http://amylovesum1.blogspot.com/
Well, I gotta go now. Exams tomorrow & I don't think I can concentrate anymore. Great. Now I have to come up with an excuse on why I failed just in case.
Goodnight, everyone. To those who now knows I'm open-minded & a pervert, if you don't want to be my friend anymore because of this, then fine. I have loads more anyways.
shn wants to breakdown so badly
I still love you, Lee... I really do :'(
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