Dear Dean,

I know there might never be us again.
I know you want me to move on like nothing happened.
I know our days will never be the same like before.

But thing is, there's still us. I can't really explain or describe it, but trust me. There's still is.
And FYI, I can't move on like nothing happened. Reality smacked me hard in the face, reminding me, making me remember those days.
Think of some of the tiny details. You're unhappy with your life, which does NOT mean I am with mine. I still think of you like I always have.
May I please know if you do too?

Putting aside everything that meant so much to me isn't simple, y'know?
And everytime I feel excited about being in college soon, it made me think back of our plans once I'm there.

In 2 months, I'll have a Japanese exam to take.
In 2 months, my mom'll be here for a few days before going off to Sarawak.
In 2 months, I'll be in college.. 'starting from scratch'.
In 2 months, it'll be a year since Okasan left.
In 2 months, it would've been a year since I haven't seen you but that was actually a month ago.
In 2 months, it could've been our 4 Month Anniversary :'(

So, now do you see why I can't exactly forget you like you were only a speck of dust?
I sure hope you do. Same goes to everyone else who're reading this.

Well, whatever happened, happened. And as much as I want to change it, I know I can't. So here it is. My vow to you.

Wherever you are & no matter the distance, I'm always here if you need anything.
Whatever and/or however you're doing, I'll constantly pray for you & your family's good health.
Call, text or e-mail me if you need something to say, to let out or to just blab away. I'll listen like how I always did.
I hope you won't mind me visiting, because I'll definitely do that often once I've got my license.
I'll always forgive you even if you're not sorry or at fault. I'm doing my very best at forgiving anyone who've hurt me each day. After all, like what Okasan said "It is in forgiving that we are forgiven".
You are & always will be in my thoughts everyday no matter the intervention I get from whoever or whatever.
If you don't mind me saying pathetically, I love you. Forever, now & always. I still care so shut up.

In conclusion, I'm not going anywhere, dear.

Please, take good care of yourself. Chin up, okay? I'm still trying to do that myself. I better get to bed now since I'm sick & have a big day tomorrow.

So, goodnight, sleep well & sweet dreams, cutie~ *hugs*