I'm not exactly in the mood right now. Thinking about it, since when am I ever in the mood for anything these days?
Yeah, I'm excited for seeing my bestfriend after quite a long while & my mom later in July. But other than that, what's there to be excited about?
It's getting more & more obvious that I can no longer get what I want like back then. It's okay because it's understandable since Okasan's no longer around.
So yeah. Having quite a hard time. I should use the computer, air-conditioner & phones less.
I should also stop leaving unneeded electrical appliances on. As much as I want these, I don't think I need a DSLR, laptop or VW Beetle.
I mean, they're freakishly expensive. What was I thinking? I should also start giving or selling away some of the stuff I don't use anymore.
And for the time being, I need a job. Any job at all. Just until I start college. I'm reconsidering whether I should go to Singapore with my mom or not.
Also, I don't care what everyone says about me still being young & all that crap I already know about. I am & will forever be philophobic.
I don't want nor do I need anyone new in my life. No more. I wouldn't mind living alone & taking care of myself.
I'll be fine. No worries. BUT, what I still want right now, which to me is about the only thing left that I hope will happen soon, is to just drop dead.
I have no idea how that's gonna happen, who's gonna make it happen or whatever, I just hope that day comes soon.
I no longer have any reason or even intention of living. So yeah. I'm only looking forward to my death now. Cya~
shn doesn't appreciate the fact that she's alive.. not anymore
Lost by Avenged Sevenfold