Y'all wanna know the truth? The REAL truth? Well then, get ready to read what I'm about to type 'cause it'll be the real me, the pathetic me.
To those who've asked me if I'm okay, NO! I'm NOT okay! I feel so fucking messed up! I'm forced to go through this EVERY SINGLE BLOODY DAY!!
STOP TELLING ME I'M STRONG!! I'M THE EXACT OPPOSITE!! I'M SO FUCKING FRAGILE, NOT MANY OF YOU EVEN KNOW IT!!
SO SHUT UP!! I'M NOT STRONG!! HELL FUCKING YEAH I'M TRYING MY FUCKING BEST TO 'MOVE ON' LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED!!
DON'T BLAME ME FOR NOT TRYING DAMN IT!! I FEEL LIKE I'M DYING SLOWLY EACH FUCKING DAY!!
I JUST DON'T FUCKING CARE ANYMORE!! I HAVE NO FUCKING REASON TO LIVE!!
Yeah, sure. I'm 'moving on' but I certainly am not living. Get my concept? No? Then FUCK OFF & READ SOMEONE ELSE'S BLOG!!
I'M HURT DAMN IT!! BADLY!! SO FUCKING BADLY, I WISH I CAN JUST JUMP OFF A BUILDING OR RIP MY FUCKING BROKEN HEART OUT!!
To those who know me well, does my smile in my new pictures seem real to you? Does it really look like a smile?
Especially when I laugh. Is how I laugh now the same way I laughed then? Tell me what you think.
Because honestly, everything's fake. I'm not okay, I can't smile properly & I can't even laugh my ass off like how I used to.
"Time will heal/It'll take time for you to heal". Fuck those sentences. If it's gonna take time for me to heal, then it'll either take me months, years or even decades.
Trust me. I know myself well enough. And about me being 'tough', that's not strength. I'm just protective.
Nothing more, nothing less. I just spilled out the real, ugly truth. Happy now? And before I end this, I'm SO smoking now & believe it or not, it feels good~
shn is shattered into pieces
Angel by Atilia
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