You stopped. Even though I was lying on my bed, I couldn't sleep. Closing my eyes didn't work much either. Thoughts of you came flowing in. I felt guilty. I thought that that was it. It was over. We really weren't gonna contact each other no more.
I sat up. I thought long & hard. So I called you. I've made you upset. Tears came flowing down my cheeks. What the hell was I thinking? What's wrong with me? I was still wide awake. I couldn't help it. I wanted to fix everything. I was the one to blame. I was the one who started it. So, I texted you saying I'm sorry & such at 3 in the morning.
I went back to bed. I still couldn't sleep. Before it was the usual time for me to sahur, I called you up.
I missed hearing your voice. I missed your laughter. You sound confused at first but then, you told me you were never angry with me. I felt... glad. We talked it out & everything was fine again. You said that that was proof. We're talking again. I still felt guilty so I stayed on the phone.
I can't remember what we talked about. I was so sleepy yet, I didn't mind.
You made me smile & laugh again. Thanks for that =) You joked around like before. I couldn't stop myself from smirking. It was then I knew we're finally okay.
You called me sayang too in the midst of our conversation. To be frank, I missed that alot. Thank you for making me realise I'm an 8-year-old living in a 17-year-old's life & body. Haha! I'm very immature, huh? You really made me laugh when you were making fun of Lee. Saying he's so childish la & that he's a 3-year-old living in a 21-year-old's life & body XD
You can really make me smile for God knows how many long minutes.
Before we hung up, you made me promise not to hurt myself again. I promised & some more it was you I was making the promise to. You also made me promise not to lie to you anymore. I won't, sayang. You can count on that =)You said "Before you go to school, take a look at yourself in the mirror, imagine me behind you making a funny face & appreciate everything God has given you, okay?". I'm really sorry but I didn't do that. Although when I wanted to take my bath, I recalled what you said & just the thought of it made me laugh. Like I said in one of my previous posts, you never seem to fail at making me smirk, smile & laugh.
I'm glad we're okay again & I'm glad that we both know we like each other ;) You're right. We shouldn't lie to each other... because every single truth we tell each other makes me smile even more & really lightens up my day. A few hours ago after letting me see you on MSN through your webcam, there's seriously no way I could be mad at you.
I'll repeat. You're sweet, kind, funny, caring, supportive, loving, cute, innocent & fragile. Dah la when you smile I pun smile & when you laugh I pun laugh. And again, I like your hair =) Suits you.
And another thing, it was really sweet of you to have mentioned me in your blog. Again, don't layan that ex of yours. She doesn't deserve the attention.
May our friendship grow with splendid colours & let fate, destiny or whatever decide our future. That's all for today. Goodnight, everyone.
shn has never been happier
Don't forget, Firdaus... keep in touch
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