Hey there. Within almost 7 hours (it's 12:47 a.m. right now) , I'll be having Science. After 12:30 p.m., I'll be free. Why don't I sound excited or stoked about my freedom? I feel empty.
Think about it. You go to kindergarten, then 6 years of sekolah rendah & when you're finally 17, you feel like falling. Mainly because it's SPM year. Unless you don't care. But then, SPM's finally here & before you know it, it's over. 2009's the year that passed by in a breeze. It didn't feel like a whole year at all.
Not to me. It felt like a few months at most & a few weeks the least. Weird, isn't it? I really can't wait to just go out there & do the things I never get to do because of SPM! At the same time, I don't want to leave.
I don't want school to end. Not because I enjoy the torments the teachers love to make us go through. But because it was how I enjoyed myself. It was where I can actually be me & not be bossed around. I never did let the teachers get in my way. I enjoyed my life freely.
Even though THAT's not coming to an end, my life in school will. Sure, I'll be going to college or university or whatever. But it won't be the same. It won't FEEL the same. Everything's gonna change.
Okay. Maybe not precisely EVERYTHING, but most things anyway. There are times when I hate changes. There are times I don't want them to happen. But what can I do to stop it? Alot of people wish they could turn back time. Myself included. May lent me The Gentleman's Alliance Cross 10 a few hours ago.
I'm gonna start blabbing now so don't bother to continue if you don't want to. I get the feeling that Takanari-sama's gonna make that bone marrow transplant happen although Shizumasa-sama IS pretty stubborn.
Poor Haine. Poor Takanari-sama. Shizumasa-sama was the one who was willing to risk his life & now Takanari-sama? My heart immediately sank the moment I saw him cry. Does he or does he not hate his twin brother, Shizumasa-sama? He's dead to everyone who knew his existence.
But he's alive. I don't understand the Togu family at all. It's confusing, irritating & just a total headache. Ugh. My tears crawled down my cheeks when I saw Takanari-sama crying.
Silly, right? Haha. Guess I can't help it. I'm actually gonna miss school. I'm already feeling it now. It's starting to sink in deeper & deeper. I'm even thinking whether I should or shouldn't watch New Moon today. Yeah, it's THAT bad. I feel like sulking.
Maybe I'll sulk when I'm done with this. Piles of homework, canteen food, annoying & nice teachers, junior friends, truancy with bestfriends or classmates, complaints of wanting to go college soon, etc. etc.
I'm gonna miss all that. Most of all, I'm gonna miss my friends. Jolene, Sharmaine, Janesh, J-Lynn, Debra, Zen, Alicia, May, Gowri, Athirah, Divya, Gaya, Vini, Yasmin, Jasmine, Hana, Caryn, Syamil, Syabil, Hanif, Farah Amira, Siti Sarah, Siti Safura, Jan Li.. even Pn. Aliah, Pn. Vijaya, Pn. Siti Ros & more.
I better go now. Gonna study Science abit, read maybe around a dozen or more pages of The Time Traveler's Wife & sleep. Tomorrow. My final paper, my final day. Then, I'm free. Goodnight, you guys.
shn doesn't feel stoked at all
Aizome - Mamiko Noto (Jigoku Shoujo Futakomori Ending Theme)
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