He went simply from 'a family friend's son' to my very first guy bestfriend to the best pet-brother to someone who means everything to me.
I still think it's entirely my fault that it came to be like this. Then again, if it weren't for that, I wouldn't be who I am today.
Yeah, I know it wasn't that long ago. But it feels like it's been years somehow. I can't help but blame myself for everything that happened.
Well, at least he still cares. Not sure how he feels about me though. I feel guilty whenever I doubt whatever it is that we have now.
Sometimes, I wished I told him sooner of how I felt. Even when he knew, he himself said he was waiting for me to say it myself.
Tell me, have you ever loved someone so much, your heart hurts so bad? Like it's been punched, stabbed, something?
Yes, that kind of feeling definitely exists. Trust me. When those who knew of me wanting to get engaged, some of them told me the same thing.
"You do know that once it's over & done with, he's all that you're gonna see every single day? Won't you get sick & tired of seeing the same face everyday?"
Uh.. hello? I DO know that & no, I won't get sick or tired of seeing the same face each & every day. It's the whole point, isn't it?
*slaps own forehead* I swear, you people ask me the weirdest & most ridiculous questions sometimes.
He means more than anything in the world to me & I love him so much, you can't even imagine the amount itself.
No, I don't care if I sound, look or am desperate. None of that nor what people say matters. The outside world has got nothing to do with us anymore.
So long as it doesn't get in our way that is *sighs* I'm glad that he's okay now. Dear God, the next time I take that test, please let me pass.
When I pass that test, I'm only 2 steps away from being able to see/visit him anytime I want (once Gina Sals' around) .
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