9/6/10

Not Exactly In The Mood

The title says it all *sighs* Hey, y'all. I have quite a number of things to talk about but, I just don't feel like typing it all out.

I've been sick since Wednesday/Thursday & I'm recovering from it now. Why am I not in the mood?

I'm not sure myself. Maybe the fact that I'm going to Langkawi for the millionth time really took its toll on me.

Maybe it's because he's upset about God knows what at the moment & I feel bad for not being able to cheer the guy up.

Maybe it's because of the guilt I felt & still feel after what I did. Maybe me being sick is making myself.. delusional or something.

Maybe it's because I'm on the brink of a breakdown for this unknown yet deep emptiness I'm feeling in my heart.

I don't know. I just know that I'm tearing up now & feel like screaming my lungs out. I'm in need of a hug but no one can give me one.

Due to the holidays & everyone being busy with getting ready for Raya & whatnot. Besides, I don't wanna trouble anyone :(

Maybe it's because listening to Love The Way You Lie by Eminem feat. Rihanna continuously has gotten into my head.

*shrugs* Raya is not as fun as how it used to be. I'd usually look forward to it because of the many people I'll see & the money I'll get.

Now? I'm not in a very festive mood. Maybe I miss Okasan too much. Then again, I miss him & the family too.

Oh wait. I'm more sensitive when I'm sick than when I'm well. Yeah. Maybe it's because of that.

I've been keeping so many things to myself, I can barely even remember most of what it is.

I don't text anybody much since I text him most of the time. Ever since he lost his mood to talk to anyone, Will Evans has been really quiet.

How lonely :( Oh God. I'm crying now. I got my 1st two packets of duit Raya this year but, I wasn't even the least bit excited.

I said thank you, but I just gave them a slight, faint smile. Okay. No more. There's nothing else for me to talk about.

Blogging doesn't help me as much as it used to anymore :( Thanks for reading anyway. Cya~

shn is hurt but doesn't know why

When somebody loved me, Everything was beautiful, Every hour we spent together lives within my heart~

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