1/30/11

Broken

Everyone's broken. Doesn't matter what kind of situation they have been/to go through. We're all broken in our own way. Some similar. Many different.

What has made me so broken? Well, a lot of you know already. I don't need to repeat myself once more.

Having pulled through of what life's thrown at you is an achievement. Thing is, life will never stop throwing shit at you.

But, that's just how it is. We grow & learn more about life that way, even gain strength from it.

In a way, we get weaker because of it as well. Unless of course, you're strong-willed & able to take the pain.

I've gone through things that I never thought I'd have to at almost 18 years of age. I've been hurt.. deeply. I tried to be positive.

I really did. I've tried so hard to look at the bright side of things, but there was none. I've stopped expecting, assuming, wishing, praying, everything.

I just don't want to take the risk anymore. I don't think I could ever love anyone that much again. My heart's been damaged enough.

"Oh but even if I fall in love again with someone new, It could never be the way, No, it will never be the way I loved you" - Selena Gomez

It's not I don't care anymore. It's just that, I've been waiting for so long until.. I no longer know what I'm doing in life.

I couldn't help but wonder everyday if I'm even doing anything right in this world. Sometimes, I feel like I've no reason to be here.

Yes, I'm thankful & grateful that I'm alive to this day. Yes, I'm glad I have friends I can count on. Yes, I can't believe I could love someone until it hurts.

But I can't help but feel that as I grow, I'm gonna have to face things that not many people at my age has to go through.

I mean, it's not like I have any other choice now, do I? My way of thinking may be slow, but hey, whose isn't?

One.. no. Two things I'm proud that I'm starting to improve at. Monopoly Deal & pool. I have a strategy, I plan, I aim.

Problem is, I can't seem to do that in life. Not sure why though. Maybe because I choose not to? *shrugs*

Oh my God. I'm playing Stitch Experiments right now on Stage 3, Level 29 & my brain has never hurt so much (other than thinking too much) ! D8

*rubs temples* Owie TT^TT I wonder how much my brain would hurt if I played Fantastic Contraptions? *imagines* O__O

I think I'd need some pain killer pills to get through all that. Anyways, like I said, everyone's broken.

Maybe it's because of breakups, family issues, financial issues, academic issues, etc. etc. Two things in life that should never be broken: hearts & promises.

Hearts are acceptable, really because how're we to be stronger without it being broken whether it's once or twice or more?

Promises? Well, it's the modern world & apparently, it's quite common that it gets broken like, what? A gazillion times?

I mean, seriously, whatever happened to keeping promises? No point in saying so if you can't even keep that promise, right?

Wow. I'm just babbling & ranting now, aren't I? Ciao, people. Btw, y'all have my sincere apologies for not updating in so long. Kthxbai~!

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