I don't know what the fuck am I doing right in this life anymore! It's already fucked up as it is & I'm making it worse.. for practically everyone.
Yes, maybe 'she' is the cause of it as well all because she can't get through that fucking thick skull of hers that she isn't always fucking right.
I mean, What. THE FUCK! WHY must she do this to me & everyone? Does it satisfy her that she's always fucking 'right'?
I don't get her attitude. Not even to this day & I've known her all my fucking life! I want Okasan back. She'd managed to manipulate that woman's words without fail.
I can't do that! I don't even fucking know how to! Like, seriously! Why me? If 'he' is SO good & fucking better, why not him?
And another thing, why does she like to be so fucking rude by calling people stupid JUST because we talk back to her?
Yes, it's a sin. I'm not THAT stupid. But still, I stand up to what I know is right & she STILL can't admit to herself that she's WRONG.
The moment I say she isn't always right, she'll go "I know I'm not always right, I'm always wrong". WHAT THE FUCK!! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, WOMAN!!
We're ALL human. Not a single being in this fucked up & dark world is ALWAYS fucking right 24/7! What? Does she think she's God?
No, she prays to Him. Yet, she's always able to accuse someone no matter what they say & no matter what they do to prove that they're not that kind of person.
Y'know, a bad person? Again, it's a sin to accuse or even fucking assume that a person is bad when they're NOT.
Why does she think so bloody negatively? Everytime I go out, she'd think I'll either get injured, raped, killed or ALL OF THE ABOVE.
I'm always back home safe & sound God fucking dammit! Is she even thankful of that? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Plus, what's wrong with going out with friends? So what if the people in the news got killed by their friends? THAT'S NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM!!
I trust my friends ENOUGH to know that they would NEVER do that! I mean, what did I ever do to have angered them? Nothing.
She also can't seem to stop telling the whole fucking world that I'll NEVER be married but instead, FOREVER ALONE. LOOK WHO'S TALKING, BUDDY!!
Your own bloody ______ even said that if you were married to someone else, THEY WOULD DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR FUCKING ATTITUDE.
Get that? No? Well, some teacher YOU were. What's the point of believing in God, following his rules, praying to Him while say or do things that you weren't supposed to?
You blame EVERYONE when everything goes wrong. I can't exactly blame you for doing that since I do that to, but at least I don't hurt people ON PURPOSE!!
TAK SEDAR DIRI KE?! Yeah. You were brought up VERY well, but you had a choice to be good or bad.. which looks like you're more to bad.
Other people don't see it only because they have NEVER been in the SAME house for MORE THAN A FUCKING DECADE!!
ARGH!! I'm sick of it! I'm sick of her! I'm sick of my life! I'm sick with myself! Why do I ALWAYS manage to hurt someone when I had no intentions of doing so?!
What the fuck is wrong with me?! I've already ruined enough of my life all because of my fucking laziness & that's enough to set myself off.
I'm doing my best to change & what do I get? More. Fucking. Drama. Thrown at me when I've done nothing but try to be good.
What's the fucking point if it keeps going on like this?! Am I meant to suffer for all the wrongs I did which to this day I can never forgive myself for?!
THEN SEND ME TO FUCKING HELL ALREADY!! I'm already LIVING in Hell so what difference does it fucking make?!
*sighs in disappointment & tries not to do anything stupid to worry everyone* That's all I've got to say. I'm blank. I just want to talk to my mom..
Maybe I should quit Taylor's & go Yamaha since I have to satisfy her instead of myself. That will surely make myself unhappy.. and she wouldn't even know. Not even them. Guess my life will have to start all over again. But with more stress & lack of sleep *cheers bluntly*